2011 was a difficult year for me, my husband, our family and our ministry. There have been fiery trials to endure, all of which we walked out very publicly. Initially, I put my "big girl pants" on and tried to be tough. I thought I would be showing a lack of faith in our Lord, if I cried. I hid my pain from our congregation and even thought I was hiding it from the Lord. However, I know now that this experience did not come to me to make me hard or kill me but to bring spiritual and emotional healing and growth. I had to examine myself before the Lord and recognize that I am not a victim but stand victorious in Him. I have realized that tears are not a sign of weakness but an expression of brokenness and from brokenness comes an opportunity to experience true worship. Though I have cried many tears, it is a great comfort to know that my Lord noted each one and they did not fall in vain.
Psalm 56:8, "You keep track of all of my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in Your bottle. You have recorded each one in Your book" (NLT).
There are 697 references for verses associated with crying in the Bible. Our God keeps a record of each tear. He is deeply interested in our sorrow. He hears our cries and leans in close to listen and responds (Psalm 116:8, "For thou has rescued my soul from death, My eyes from tears, My feet from stumbling.").
Tears often indicate brokenness. Just as the crushing of grapes produces wine or the crushing of grain, bread; life's crushing experiences produce tears. Often times God allows these experiences in our lives because worship starts with a broken heart and God desires our authentic worship (Psalm 80:5, "Thou feedest them with the bread of tears and givest them tears to drink in great measure").
Our brokenness yields true repentance. This is a rending of the heart, a true mourning, not just regret for our sin. On the other side of repentance comes great joy for deliverance (Psalm 30:5b, "... weeping may endure for a night BUT joy comes in the morning"; Psalm 30:11-12, "Thou hast turned for me my mourning into dancing and girded me with gladness; Psalm 126:5, "Those who sow in tears shall reap with joyful shouting"; "That my soul may sing praise to Thee, and not be silent") and our offering back to the Lord is praise.
Often times as Christians we are afraid to allow our tears of brokenness to come forward. We push down our feelings. We are afraid to be honest with God and end up stuck. We put on our "brave face" and "plastic smile" and our hearts grow hard. These tears are our prayers and we must be willing to "Just Cry" in the words of Mandesa. We must trust God with our tears. He does not take them for granted. He notes each one and He draws near to the brokenhearted and He brings joy from our suffering.
We must be willing to come to Jesus, as the woman sinner, in Luke 7:36-50. She had no words that she said to Jesus, only her tears, produced from brokenness over her own sin. The tears that soaked the feet of her Saviour, Jesus, was her prayer and she worshiped Him. She was completely unaffected by the presence of others or their opinion of her. Her eyes and heart were fixed on Jesus and He was her focus. Jesus did not find this woman silly but quite the contrary. When the Pharisee, that invited Jesus, criticized the woman, Jesus informed him that what she was expressing much love while the Pharisee had not even greeted Jesus with the customary hospitality.
May we discover the freedom we have been given, by Christ, and not be afraid to offer our tears at the altar to our Lord. Our tears of brokenness and repentance will be followed by shouts of joy in true worship!
This being said, let us know be afraid to "Just Cry".
The Preacher's Wife
