Father, Are You There? Do You See Me?

Over that past two years, I have found myself asking God, "Are you there? Do you see me? Can you hear me?". Even as a preacher's wife, I have faced the deep valley of anxiety and panic disorder and the strong hold of fear and doubt and insecurity. In these struggles there are some things I am learning.

The first is that the mind is definitely your battle field. The battle usually starts when the demands of life and ministry pull you away from sleep, proper nutrition, and time alone with God and His Word, as well as time for extended prayer. You can so easily fall into the trap of the busyness and business of ministry that you can become mentally exhausted and spiritually empty.

However, in your exhaustion, though you may not feel like it, you can rest assured that your heavenly Father is watching and sees you. He sees all of your struggles and He cares. I know as a preacher's wife, often times you not only face the demands of ministry but the needs of children, grandchildren, parents and our homes. We also face the unexpressed and often unmet expectations of our family and congregation.

Preacher's wives may also experience feeling invisible. They can feel lost in the shadow of their husband's ministry, as they try to find their own place in it. They wonder if anyone really sees them or if they really belong. The great news is, someone does see you. He knows your gifts and He will not leave you incomplete. He understands all that you need and feel.

Spending more time with your heavenly father, asking Him to lavish His love on you, will help you to have more love to lavish on your husbands, children, grandchildren, parents, congregation and friends. You must be filled up, in order to pour out.

What a great call and privilege you have been given. Not only are you a daughter of the King but the wife of a preacher.  What a great opportunity God has given you to share the gospel alongside your partner and friend and minister to the needs of others!

Spend some time today with your heavenly Father being lavished with His love. He sees you, He hears you and He loves you incomprehensibly.

"From heaven the Lord looks down and sees all mankind; from His dwelling place He watches all who live on earth-He who forms the hearts of all, who considers everything they do."- 

Psalm 33:13-15

"I am with you and will watch over you wherever you go, and I will bring you back to this land. I will not leave you until I have done what I have promised you." 

Gen. 28:15 NIV

"I will be a Father to you and you will be my sons and daughters, says the Lord Almighty." - 2 Corinthians 6:18 & 2 Samuel 7:14

"How great is the love the Father has lavished on us that we should be called children of God!" - 1 John 3:1

Because He Lives

As a preacher's wife, I have had the difficult duty of attending many funeral services. Some may think that it gets easier after an average of once a month for over 10 years. However, yesterday, I accompanied my husband to a funeral and as we stood in the cold, misting rain, huddled under an awning of the funeral home, listening to the loud blasts of a 21 gun salute and taps being played in the distance; I was reminded that is does not.

This funeral was particularly difficult. Maybe because it was for a man that had no apparent health issues and was only 47 years old (only four years younger than my husband). Maybe it was because it was sudden (Thanksgiving he experienced a seemingly mild cold symptom, went to the doctor, and was diagnosed with cancer. On New Year's Eve morning, he drew his final breath on this earth). Maybe it was because he and his wife have three young adult children and had just become grandparents within the past couple of years (very similar to my husband and myself). I am not quite sure. It may be because his wife is close to my age and now faces a future without her husband, long before she anticipated she might have to. Whatever the reason, as I stood their, God prompted me to share my experience with all of you.


When we arrived at the funeral home and approached his sweet wife, she still had the look of shock and disbelief on her face. It was as if she could not believe the words coming out of her own mouth, speaking of facing the coming days without her husband. She was smiling through her tears and leaning solely on her faith in our Lord, to stand. I just wanted to hold her hands and not let go. I had no words that seemed appropriate for her pain. I simply told her I had no idea what she was going through but I would be praying for her and her family and she could call me anytime she needed someone to just listen.

Something that I will never grow accustomed to, is the sound a wife makes, during her husband's funeral. It is usually a soft, moaning, cry. A sound, as if the pain she is experiencing is so deep, she can't possibly release all of it at once. It is absolutely heartbreaking. I heard that sound yesterday as we stood outside the funeral home. It barely rose above the sound of the rain and over our heads. Such a soft cry but so distinct.

As a preacher's wife, I am so often reminded of how quickly life can change. How absolutely uncertain life is. Satan often times tries to use this to generate fear within me. Sometimes he brings up the "what ifs". As I am sure he will try to do with this sweet widow over the coming days. However, Satan is a liar and has no power over death and the grave. Jesus defeated death, hell and the grave on the cross at Calvary. I Corinthians 15:54-57 refers to Hosea 13:14, to remind all of us of the victory that we have in Jesus, as our Savior. There is a sweet old hymn that says "this child can face uncertain days because He lives! Because He lives, I can face tomorrow. Because He lives, all fear is gone. Because I know, I know He holds the future. My life is worth the living, just because He lives!"

I pray comfort for those, like this wife and family, that have experienced the recent loss of a loved one. I pray they will be able to walk in the victory of our Lord and Savior, Jesus, in the coming year. I also want to offer encouragement to the preacher's and their wives that walk through these times of grief with these families, in their congregations and community. Remember that we are not spiritual robots. We are humans, created in the likeness of Christ. Therefore, we are deeply compassionate people that feel the pain of those around us. It is alright to grieve for and with those that we minister to. There is the danger of growing complacent, to avoid pain or to make sure we are "strong" for the ones we are called to minister to. However, remember, it is not our strength but that of the Lord's that allows us to minister comfort to others in their grief. It is important that we stay strong in the Lord and encourage one another, in order to stay encouraged for others.

I praise God that we serve a risen Savior and "Because He Lives", we can face all the challenges of ministry and receive the great blessings that come as well.