I Am Ruined

Then I said, "Woe is me for I am ruined!" ... "For my eyes have seen the "King, the Lord of hosts." 

Yesterday the Lord led me, in His Word, to Isaiah, chapter six. Isaiah is given a vision and he sees, "the Lord sitting on a throne, lofty and exalted, with the train of his robe filling the temple". In other words, he sees the full glory of God, right before his eyes and he is in awe. He is undone. He is ruined! He is made aware of his own sinful condition and cleansed by God. He is made ready to answer the call of the Lord. God says, "Whom shall I send, and who will go for Us?" and Isaiah quickly responds, "Here am I. Send me".

Upon reading this, I wrote in my journal, to the Lord, "I want to focus on You." I asked Him, "Help me look for the reminders of Your Majesty, all the time." So, you want to know what He did? He showed me reminders of His Majesty all day long. I saw His Majesty in the faces of my children and grandchildren, the generosity of others, the love and encouragement of my church family, the love of my parents, the kindness of strangers, the love of a mother, the leading of my husband and the beauty of His creation.

It began at work, where I am privileged to serve as the Executive Director of a resident, discipleship program for women and emergency shelter for women and children. For over two years our prayer has been to acquire a multi-housing unit, to allow us to offer transitional housing, for our discipleship program graduates or shelter residents, with children. Yesterday, we were given permission to begin the process of receiving the donation of a brick duplex, two miles from our resident center!

However, God did not stop there with the reminders of His Majesty. All day long, as I encountered my children and grandchildren; as I arrived at church and was greeted with the love and encouragement of so many of our church family; watching a newly converted mother, dedicate her precious baby girl, to be raised in the admonition of the Lord; all reminders of His Majesty.However, you know God did not stop there.

I arrived home, after church, to the second, anonymous card of encouragement in two weeks. It was filled with sweet words of encouragement and the reassurance that someone is praying for me. It also included a gift card for $10 to Starbucks. I was blown away by the Majesty and love of my King Jesus. But you know, He did not stop there. 

I opened up the next piece of mail and it was a bill from the emergency hospital visit I encountered 10 days ago. I had been concerned about the bill. I was expecting it to be close to $10,000 dollars and I knew it would require great sacrifice to get it paid off in a timely manner. I did not look forward to putting that financial burden on my family. However, I trusted the Lord would provide the means to pay it. When I opened the bill, I saw: Total Charges...$6,061.80. Then I saw: Account Adjustments...$5,561.80. Then I saw: Remaining Balance...$500!!! What? I could barely take in what I was reading. There it was again, a reminder of God's majesty! My husband, immediately took my hands in his and we offered a prayer of thanksgiving and praise to our Lord. Yet another reminder of His Majesty, the love and leading of my husband.

Today, I am "ruined".  I stand in awe, "for my eyes have seen the King, the Lord of hosts". I am humbled and thankful and ready to respond. In the words of Isaiah, "Here I am. Lord, send me."